I’m giggling to myself over this title.  Duuuuude, it’s like Zen, man.  Okay, well I entertain myself at least!  hahaha!

But what I’m getting at is that I’ve come to a really great place, emotionally.  More about that in a bit.

I don’t think I ever wrote about having a sluggish thyroid.  I found out during my physical back in May–I take 25micrograms of the generic Synthroid.  At first, I was pretty irritated that I was on a daily medication.  That’s for old people, right?  Apparently, it’s for me, too.  I’m finally starting to see a tiny bit of difference.  When I am really exerting myself the tendency to get dizzy has greatly diminished.  I go back in August to have my blood drawn and see if I’m on the correct dosage for my deficiency.

In exercise news, I’m on week 3 of H.I.M. training.  (High Intensity Metabolic) Whew, this class kills!  It’s all based around doing a certain exercise for a length of time and then a rest period.  As the intensity increases and our tolerance levels increase, the rest time decreases.  For example, today we ran a series of sprints.  Each 45 seconds long with a  15 second rest period before starting the next sprint.  After 4 sets of sprints, we got 2 minutes to get water, etc.  Then onto another series.  This style of training is supposed to target belly fat specifically.  I sure hope so!  I actually started the class weighing in at 191lbs (thanks to being on my cycle and a BAD case of the munchies!)  I’m down to 186lbs and hopefully will lose 5-6 more pounds. I would love, love, love to see a 179 on that scale!

I’ve also been doing bootcamp on Saturdays for the last six weeks.  It’s hard in a different way than H.I.M. training.  I find it requires a lot more mental toughness–I suspect that’s mainly because of the jogging, which I still hate.  Perhaps if I enjoyed running, bootcamp would be less difficult….nah, my trainer would just find ways to make it more difficult! 

Running has become my cardio of choice when I’m not at HIM class or bootcamp.  I’m training for a 5k on September 26th.  Considering that I really dislike running, this is pretty amazing. I’ve run a few test 5ks on the treadmill (which in NO way simulates running outdoors in the heat or the hills in the town hosting the 5k) and I’ve come in around 36-37minutes with a bit of walking. Not too shabby, in my opinion.

On the eating front, I still struggle with snacking and overeating.  But I’m doing better.  Yesterday was a spectacular day, eating-wise.  I heard two quotes that really hit home for me.  One was from Farrah Fawcett via Ryan O’Neal–she said something along the lines of “that even if you are losing the battle, you have to keep fighting.”  and then Fred said that I could undo all the hard work I’ve put in at the gym by eating poorly.  Both very true.  I’ve worked so, so hard–why am I letting food stop me–after a YEAR of this?!?!?  Man, you’d think I’d have this on lockdown after a year, but I don’t.  But I do know that I can handle it.  That’s where the zen comes in.  It will happen.


Saturday mornings have been taken over by bootcamp. I haven’t decided if I love it or not.  I do love the feeling I get afterwards:  accomplished, strong and tired!  I’m going to stick with it as long as I can. I really wish I could take the weekday classes but child care + the cost of boot camp is a bit much.

This morning went much better than last week.  Last week, I kept getting dizzy.  Getting dizzy made me frustrated and in turn, pissed off.  Not my best performance by far.  Thank goodness today was good!  I was able to hang in there much better.

So far, bootcamp has only had 2 people participating.  I’m so used to such a small group that a large group would be so different–more people to screw things up! hahaha!  Some things were a bit funny today.  There was a newbie today named Rachel.  Rachel is super sweet but totally girly!  I kept telling her to harness her inner tomboy.  I think it took a bit for her to understand that this is supposed to be a BOOTCAMP experience.  By that, I mean Fred (instructor) doesn’t want us waving to people or getting distracted.  He really does want us to sing loudly in front of all the spectators on the greenway. Once she got that, she was great.  I enjoyed having Rachel there because she’s a cheerful person.  I tend to have a rain cloud over my head when I do poorly, so it was a nice dynamic.

It really took me back today–back to when I cared *so* much about how other people view me.  The old  me would have died before doing a bootcamp. (to be truthful the old me would have never survived a bootcamp, hahahaha)

I’ve still got 27lbs to lose.  I set a goal of a year.  I don’t think that’s going to happen, but I’ll keep on keeping on.  What can I say?  I finally feel like I am never going back to my old ways ever again.  It’s taken me 10 months to truly believe that I’ve changed.  No wonder people fall off the wagon permantly–10 months is a long damned time!

My husband gave me my Mother’s Day present today!  A cruiser bike!  I’ve been wanting one of these for a long time.  I love that it’s Powder Blue!  He totally surprised me–I had not even a tiny inkling of his plans.  I love that man.  I love that I chose him to be my partner in life and the father of my children.  I’m not saying that because he gave me the bike, but I must admit, he’s a great gift-giver. 

Until recently, I wasn’t really a bike rider.  But I’ve been taking spin class (love it–another post about this coming soon) a few times a week and we drug a bike trailer that someone gave us last year down from the hooks on the garage.  And I ride, with the kids in the trailer, pretty much every evening after supper. It keeps me from snacking.  It’s great!  I love the feel of the wind in my face and hearing my kids laugh behind me.  I think bike riding is my “thing.”  Some prefer running.  I don’t know if I’ll ever be a runner and now that I’ve found biking, that’s okay with me.

What really strikes me is that if you had told me a year ago that I would get a BICYCLE for Mother’s Day and be estatic about it, I would have just laughed in disbelief.  Who is this active person I’ve become?  It boggles my mind and makes me smile.  I love the new me.  A friend sent me a picture of myself that was taken about a month after I started getting healthy.

Well, heck.  Here’s the pic, I’m in green (hahaha)  I was actually down 20lbs from my starting weight in this pic.   


And here is last night, in pink, down 43lbs from starting weight.
Franklin Date night

It’s unreal to me that sometimes I don’t understand just how far I’ve come. I need pictures like these to help cement the change in my mind.

I realize I’ve posted quite a few pics of myself recently.  Thank goodness this is MY blog, hahahahaha.  But really, it’s because I feel so good about myself.  I love being fit and strong. And for the first time in a LONG time, I like the way I look!

189.  Two mornings in a row.

And I’m not sabotaging myself this time!

My dad had a heart attack on Wednesday morning, March 25th.  Luckily, the doctor was able to place a stent and he’s on the road to recovery.  It was a “minor” heart attack and he’s a relatively fit guy, so the outlook is good providing he follows doctor’s orders.  So far, he is accepting it begrudingly–I think mostly for my mom’s benefit.  See, in reality, my mother has far more risk factors for a heart attack than my dad does, so this new this new lifestyle they are embarking on will behoove the both of them.

I won’t lie, it was terrifying–getting that phone call from my mom.  My dad is my original hero.  This family has had much loss in the last year–my father-in-law and my uncle.  My immediate thought was that I just CAN’T handle much more loss, especially not my dad.  Not my dad.  But once I laid eyes on him, I knew he was going to be okay.  He didn’t even look sick and was cutting up with the nurses.  And as I mentioned, the doctor was able to fix him right up.  I am so relieved beyond measure.

So, to get back to the focus of my blog!  I haven’t been able to workout much this week.  Fred wrote me a plan that allows for my lack of exercise over the last 3 weeks.  I actually got to use it today and I can really tell that I’ve lost some of the progess I had made.  (and I drank coffee, which made my heart rate go higher and take longer to recover, doh!)  But man, was it great to be back in the swing of things!  I’m holding at 190lbs, which is a miracle considering my diet lately.  I think I’ve lost some muscle mass, unfortunately.  But I’ll get it back! 

Now it’s time for life to get back to normal and I’m completely ready.  I can’t  believe that my normal includes daily exercise–I was never that girl. And now I am.  How amazing is that?

I feel very good today, in all ways:  physically, emotionally, mentally.  I love it when I feel like this!  Especially after I had a less-than-stellar weekend. 

Let’s just say that french fries were involved and that I snacked, snacked, snacked on Sunday.

But guess what?  The scale read 190lbs this morning!!!!!!!!!!!!! That means I’ve lost 42lbs.  That’s more than my 4 year old weighs.  I got him to lay on my back last night and then I tried to do some push-ups with him on me.  With him on my back, I was essentially back at my starting weight.  Good Gravy, was it heavy!  I could barely manage 3 push-ups!  Once again, I am utterly astounded that I used to carry that around on a daily basis.  Truly humbling.

Today, at the gym, I was dancing on the treadmill after telling my friend about getting to 190lbs.  My trainer walked by and I hollered out that I hit 190 and gave him a big High 5.  So anyone who was paying attention knows exactly what I weigh.  And I’m totally cool with that.  So, so many woman would be mortified to weigh that–and technically it’s still quite overweight.  But I’ve come so far!  And we women compare ourselves to one another far too often.  Far too often we measure our worth by the number on the scale.  God knows I’ve caught myself doing it.

On to other matters:  I have discovered Taco Bell’s Fresco menu.  I don’t know why I never bothered to look for healthy options at Taco Bell–I probably assumed there were none.  I got the Fresco Burrito Supreme with Steak.  Man, it was SO good.  It tastes way too good to be a lighter option.  It has 8 grams of fat and 330 calories, 6.5 WW points.  But that sucker is HUGE!   Unfortunately, I allowed myself to get far too hungry and it didn’t satisfy my hunger.  I had some chicken and oatmeal and cheerios when I got home.  Not perfect, but they are healthy options.  I didn’t rip through the box of Girl Scout Crack, uh, I mean cookies in the freezer.

Today, January 29, marks that day that I have officially lost 40 lbs!

40 freaking pounds!

I am so happy right now I could burst!  It is only tainted by the fact that today is my last session with my trainer for a while.  We just don’t have the funds for it to be an everyday thing forever.  But it’s  okay.  I can do this!  See, i’ve lost 40 lbs!

I will try to take a pic this week to mark the occasion!