Oh, that Roni!  She gets the old wheels in my mind turning.

What I think she’s saying is that you have to find the joy in change.  Sure, I could lose all the pounds I want, but if I don’t *learn* something along the way, what’s the point?   

 As I sit here, I don’t know if I truly love the process of becoming a healthy person.  I do know it’s very all-consuming and that the fire for it burns hot some days and needs kindling on others.  I know that I truly want everyone to be healthier and I’m scared for the overall health of many of my family members.  I know that I bore my friends and family with tales of my workouts or how I cut the calories on a favorite dish.  I know it’s exciting for me to see new muscles emerging and gain agility and strength.

But do I love it?

Yes & no.  I don’t just love exercise, but I always feel better once it’s done. I always feel proud when I accomplish something new.  I resent the hell out of eating less food now that I’m not nursing my daughter as much.  And I fight the battle not to be an emotional eater all the freaking time.

Like today, for instance.  I gave myself a sick day yesterday and it really made a difference in my mental and physical energy.  I was able to push myself harder and longer on my interval training.  Actually made myself a bit light-headed and pukey, which is awesome.  I’ve learned enough about myself  now to know that I needed that.

I think that’s what I am learning to love the most–myself.  I wouldn’t say that I was a self-hater, more like a self-ignorer.  Now, I’m taking that time to learn my limits (and to stretch them!).  I am learning that I have  a lot to offer this world.  Just like salt is a flavor enhancer, this process has made so many things in my life better.

Advertisements