I’ve a heavy heart tonight.  I think my dearest friend’s marriage is ending.  And with this marriage ending, so go several of my friend’s dreams: to never put her children in daycare, to home-school, to live happily ever after………I’m so sad for her right now.  She and I have been stay-at-home moms together.  She’s been my sounding board, co-conspirator, my go-to for griping about my husband and ally in parenting. Along with 2 other moms, we had bi-monthly playgroups.  Today was our last playgroup day with the 4 of us since my friend has decided (wisely) that she needs a flexible full-time job and as fate would have it, one fell in her lap this weekend.

So, I’m a little sad for me, too.  I talk to her EVERY day–I don’t think that’s going to be as possible soon.  I’m sad because the playgroup isn’t the same without her.  I’m sad that she’s sad.  Because believe me–she deserves some happiness in this world.

And to get to point, considering that this is a weight-loss blog, I am fighting every ounce of my will to bury my head in whatever food I’ve got in the kitchen.  That’s been my m.o. for so long and just because I’m trying to change, it doesn’t mean the impulse is gone.  Does that impulse ever go away?  To circumvent emotional eating, I went to visit my next-door neighbor and we ended up rearranging all her bedroom furniture.  I tried to stay outside as much as possible.  And I called a spade a spade and confessed to my husband and neighbor that I was wanting to emotional eat.  After supper, I took a solo stroll to help clear my head and plan this blog entry.

And I haven’t given in to my urges.  But I’m so sad right now that I hardly feel proud of myself.  Maybe a teeny bit and maybe it will be better in the morning.

Advertisements