Both literally and figuratively.

Literal:  What a freaking workout!  Jeez, I went to pick up a 40lb kettlebell and I could feel the bile rising.  I have never exercised so hard that I felt pukey!  And I’m so mind warped now (lol) that I am proud of getting pukey!  Granted, I am getting over the stomach bug, but still!

Figurative:

This picture from May of this year.  Two months before I started this whole shebang, but basically the same weight as when I began:

Cute baby :)   But man, oh man!  I looked TERRIBLE!  I felt TERRIBLE!  I had zero energy or zest in my life.  I was so, so, so lazy.

The reason I bring this up is that my trainer has requested before photos.  Like most fat people, I’ve avoided the camera very successfully.  I have none of me by myself before.  But I did want pictures of me with my kids, so at least one of them is in all the before photos.  I didn’t want something  to happen to me and there be no pictures for my kids to look at. (I’m a bit morbid.  But when you’ve lost both your in-laws, these thoughts come up.)

I kinda thought I wanted to destroy some of these pics, but I think I should keep them now.  They show how far I’ve come and make me realize how badly I don’t want to go back.